


The Baby

by AGJ1990



Series: Evelyn Winchester [73]
Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26039887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGJ1990/pseuds/AGJ1990
Summary: No matter what she might think, Evelyn Winchester will always be the baby of the family.
Series: Evelyn Winchester [73]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/738081
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Age One to Age Five

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me.

_One Year Old_

Dean finished the rice and poured it into three bowls. It was a pitiful meal, but the best of what they had left. Dean walked down to Sam’s room to tell him it was time for dinner, only to find him already asleep. Concerned, Dean placed a hand on Sam’s forehead. Sam had been sluggish all day, and Dean’s worst fear was realized. He was sick.

Babbling from the floor below him broke Dean out of his dread. Evy was playing on a blanket, focused intently on Squish and a plastic Lego train that she was pushing back and forth. Deciding to leave Sam alone and let him sleep, since he probably wouldn’t later that night, Dean turned to Evy and crouched down a little, immediately catching her attention.

“Ready for dinner?” 

Evy giggled and held out her hands towards Dean. “Deanie!”

“Let’s go, kiddo.”

There was one benefit to only having a baby for company, Dean decided. It was easy to convince her that the rice was a gourmet meal. The second Dean put the bowl in front of her, Evy dug her hands into it, and in no time, her face was a sticky mess of cheese and broccoli bits.

“Nummy.”

“It’s good?”

“Nummy.” Evy confirmed as she dug a hand into her bowl again. When she looked over and saw Dean’s already empty bowl, she offered him what was left in her little fist. “Deanie.”

“I’m full. You finish it.”

“Deanie.” Evy insisted.

Dean smiled and pretended to eat a bite out of Evy’s hand. “Mmmm.”

“Nummy?”

“Nummy.” Dean chuckled and kissed Evy’s cheek. “Love you, baby girl.”

_Two Years Old_

“I do it!”

Sam sighed, trying hard to keep his patience. “Please, just let me get you dressed.”

“I do it!” Evy insisted, holding a hand out to take the shirt from Sam’s hand.

“Fine.” Sam said, exasperated. “Here.”

Sam handed the shirt to Evy, who very studiously tried to open it and put it over her head. Sam helped when Evy wasn’t looking, a minute later, she was finally dressed.

“I do it!”

“Yeah, you did it, Cricket.” Sam said. “You’re growing up, baby.”

“No baby. Big girl.”

Sam, somewhat taken aback and saddened by the declaration, nodded. “Yeah. My big girl.”

_Three Years Old_

John stood at the door next to the room Evy slept in. His intention had been to tell her to go to bed, but he stopped when he overheard her talking to herself. When he peeked in, the sight made him smile. Evy was standing in front of the mirror that had come with the house, a foam sword in her hand, and a pillowcase tied around her shoulders. She thrusted the sword at the mirror and proclaimed,

“Got you, monster!”

A chuckled escaped John’s throat before he felt a sharp twinge of guilt. Evy was his last baby, and a few days earlier he’d made the dumbest decision he’d ever made. He’d told her the truth of the world, the truth that the monsters she was fighting in her play weren’t just play. They were real. The only thing to eventually calm the hysterical Evy had been a conversation with Sam and Dean, where Dean had told her something she’d been repeating to herself ever since.

_The monsters are scared of us, baby girl._

“Whatever that was, you took it down, little one.”

Evy turned and beamed at her father’s praise. “It was a dragon, Daddy! I beated it all by myself.”

“Well, you did an excellent job.” John said. “But I’m gonna tell you something that’s important to remember, okay?”

“What, Daddy?”

“That if you ever need help, you call me or your brothers, okay? You don’t have to do anything all alone. Can you remember that?”

“I ‘member, Daddy.”

“It’s time for bed, little one.” John said.

“I not seepy.” Evy insisted.

“It’s still bedtime. You don’t have to sleep, but you do have to lay in bed.”

“Can I seep with you?” Evy asked as she yawned.

John started to say no, but if Evy was yawning, it meant that she was only a few minutes from snoring. “If you promise you’ll lay down and go straight to sleep.”

“Promise, Daddy.” Evy said. “Give me hug?”

“Come here.”

John enveloped Evy into a hug and savored the feeling of having her safe and secure with him. The feeling was one he carried with him when he was away, and he knew it would become scarcer and scarcer as time went on. John picked her up, deciding that pajamas could be skipped for that night.

“Let’s go to bed, little one.”

“Daddy, I not wittle.” Evy said as she yawned again.

“Whatever you say.”

_Four Years Old_

Bobby Singer knew when something was wrong with the Winchester clan. They got quiet. And broody. It was nothing for John to be that way, somewhat less common for Dean, and not unheard of for Sam.

But for Evy, who was the lighthouse of the Winchester family, pulling them out of the darkness when they all got too close and it threatened to swallow them whole, brooding was unheard of.

It had been two weeks since Evy’s first introduction to the truly dark side of the hunting world. She’d known the truth, much to Bobby’s dismay, for over a year, but the real ugly side had thrown itself at her. And the effect was clear. Evy didn’t sleep, she didn’t eat, she cried at the drop of a hat. Now, she was sitting in Bobby’s chair, gripping Squish in her arms tightly and trying hard not to cry.

Bobby approached the chair and picked up Evy. He prayed she wouldn’t start fighting him as she’d done her father when she’d been found. She didn’t. Instead, Evy allowed Bobby to take her and put her in his lap, and for a long moment, neither one said anything.

“What’s that little head of yours thinking?”

“I’m nothing but a baby.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I couldn’t do nothing.”

“What? You mean when you got taken?”

“Yeah. He hurt Squish and taked me and all I did was cry.”

“That’s not what I heard.”

“What you mean?”

“Well, I heard that when he kept trying to get you to stay with him, you told him no. No matter how scary it got, you kept telling him no.” Bobby said. “And I also heard that when he tried to tell you that your daddy and brothers didn’t want you, you told him he was lying.”

“Yeah. I did that.”

“That don’t sound like no baby to me. That sounds like a brave kid.”

“But I was real scared. I still scared.”

“Listen to me. Being brave don’t mean not getting scared. It’s what you do when you’re scared that makes you brave.” Bobby chuckled. “And taking that swing at your dad when he tried to pick you up was pretty brave too.”

“Uncle Baby? Do you still gets scared?”

“Sometimes, Baitfish.”

“How do you not be scared?” Evy asked.

Bobby took a breath before answering. He knew how _he_ quit being scared, but he had a feeling that giving Evy a shot of whiskey was not the kind of advice that would keep him breathing for long.

“Honestly? I get a hug from you.”

“That helps you not be scared?”

“It sure does.”

“I’m scared, uncle Baby. I don’t wanna go to sleep ‘cause I’ll see him again.” Evy said, swallowing back the tears she was trying to fight.

“How about I return the favor, huh?” Bobby suggested. “You sleep right here with me and you’ll be just fine. Okay?”

“You promise?”

“Promise, Baitfish. Come here.” Five tear streaked minutes later, Evy was sleeping soundly, curled up against Bobby’s chest. “I got you, baby girl.”

_Five Years Old_

They had reached the door of her classroom, and Evy had thought she was ready. But there were a lot more kids in there than she’d thought there would be. She hadn’t been around a lot of other kids before, and she was scared. What if they didn’t like her? What if she wasn’t good at school? Sam had tried to tell her that she’d be okay, that she’d love school and it would be fun. She’d believed him, but she found it hard to believe him now. Sam talked for a minute with her teacher, then bent down to talk to her. He took her hand and asked,

“Are you scared?”

Evy looked into the classroom again, then back to Sam. “A little.” she admitted.

“You want me to stay with you?” Sam asked.

“You don’t have to go?” Evy asked.

“Daddy said I could stay with you for today if you wanted me to.” Sam assured her. “Or part of the day. Whatever you want me to do, Cricket.”

The truth was, Sam wanted to pick her up and take her back home. Keep her the true baby of the family for as long as possible. He was fighting back tears, trying not to shed them in front of Evy. If he cried, she would cry for sure. After a few seconds, she answered,

“No. I’ll be brave.” Evy said.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.” Evy answered. “I’ll be okay.”

Though he felt his heart crack and bleed that she didn’t need him right then, Sam also felt intensely proud. Evy was indeed brave. At only five, she rarely became so scared of something that she backed down from facing it. Part of that was forced from having the scary truth about monsters told to her at age three. But Sam knew that part of it was her own character, and that, more than anything, told him that she was telling the truth. She would be okay.

“Alright, Cricket. Remember what we told you about what daddy does for a living if anyone asks?” Evy nodded. “Okay. Have fun, baby. I love you.”

“Love you too, Sammy.”

Evy gave Sam a quick but affectionate squeeze and ran into her classroom. Sam stared at her for a few seconds before whispering,

“That’s my girl.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Six Years Old_

Evy grabbed the top of the monkey bars, determined to make it across this time no matter what. Very carefully, Evy grabbed the first bar and hung on. She remembered what Sammy had told her. _Hang on tight and look straight ahead. Whatever you do, don’t look down_. Finally, Evy gathered her courage and moved to the second bar. There were nine of them total, and Evy took a breath and grabbed the third one.

Before she could grab the fourth bar, Evy felt a pair of hands on her foot. She kicked as well as she could hanging in the air, but it was no use. Suddenly, Evy found herself being snatched off the bars and tumbling to the ground.

“Ow!”

Looking up from her spot on the ground, Evy saw the class bully, Tyler, and his two friends, Simon and Jessie, laughing at her. Evy didn’t feel like she’d been hurt, at least not on her body, but her feelings were definitely hurt. Evy was the smallest kid in her class, and Tyler and his friends liked to make sure she knew it.

“Why’d you do that, Tyler? That was mean.”

“But funny.” Tyler said, doubling over in laughter.

Evy finally couldn’t take it anymore. Tyler had been teasing her ever since she had started at the school two weeks earlier. Daddy had always told her not to fight at school, but she couldn’t just let this mean kid push her around either. While they were still laughing, Evy got up, walked over, and pushed Tyler down as hard as she could.

“Hey!” Tyler yelled. “What’d you do that for? I’m tellin’!”

“Go ahead and tell. You do, and I’ll tell everybody you got beat up by a girl.” Evy said, throwing her hands on her hips to make herself look bigger than she was.

John hung up the phone with Evy’s teacher, snorting back laughter. Sam and Dean were in the backyard, running with Evy trying to tire her down for bed in a couple of hours. Bobby, who was staying with them for a couple days, commented,

“She’s growing up. So what are you gonna do about it?”

John shook his head. “Not a damn thing. Like you said, she’s growing up. I hate it, but she’s growing up. It’s good to know she can take care of herself.”

John pulled out his wallet, looking for the phone number of a hunting contact he’d written down. The first thing he came across stopped him in his tracks. It was a photo, one Sam and Dean had given him for Christmas years earlier. Evy had been a baby, not even two years old yet, grinning so large and so hard that her eyes were partially shut. Sam was holding her and Dean stood several inches over the two of them.

“That’s my girl.”

_Seven Years Old_

"Hey, kiddo."

"Hey, Deanie." Evy said quietly.

"What's going on?" Dean asked as he pulled off his jacket and laid it on the chair.

"Nothing."

Dean, who had been headed to the stove to start dinner, immediately stopped and turned back to Evy. "There's a whole lot of something behind that nothing. What's wrong?"

Evy swallowed hard. Daddy and Sammy didn't care what was going on with her, why would Dean? "Nothing, really. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

Evy took a ragged breath, still trying to hold back the tears. But it didn't work, and her voice finally broke. "I just had a really bad day."

"Oh, kiddo." Dean said, taking the kitchen chair and pulling it around to face her. "You want to tell me about it?"

"No." Evy said, embarrassed to be crying in front of her big brother.

"You need a hug?"

Evy didn't answer that, just climbed into Dean's lap and let him hold her. It took a few minutes, but she eventually opened up.

"I got in trouble because you didn't come in with me to the office."

"I'm sorry, kiddo. But I had to go to work." Dean said.

"I know. But after that, I went to class and I answered a couple of questions wrong. Everybody laughed at me. Then somebody tripped me in the cafeteria and I almost didn't get to eat lunch."

"Why?" Dean asked. "If someone tripped you, why did you get in trouble?"

"Because the teacher in the cafeteria didn't see me fall. She just thought I had dropped my tray. She made me clean it up and sent me to the nurse's office when one of the other kids told her I'd tripped."

"They didn't let you eat lunch?" Dean asked, his anger steadily rising.

"Yeah, I did eat. The lunch lady saw me leaving and she gave me another sandwich."

"What else happened, kiddo?" Dean asked, reminding himself to go handle the teacher that tried to deny lunch to his little sister.

"Nobody wanted to let me play with them or play with anything on the playground at recess. I ended up just sitting by myself watching everyone else play."

"Why didn't you stick up for yourself, kiddo? I know you know how." Dean asked.

"Daddy told me not to bring attention to us, so I didn't want get in a fight." Evy said.

Dean nodded. He made another reminder to talk to Dad about making it clear to Evy that she could stand up for herself. "Is that everything?"

"No. I forgot my spelling homework and my teacher yelled at me for it and gave me a zero. Then I got home and Daddy and Sammy were both mad at me."

"Why?"

"I asked Daddy if he would take me to dinner like he promised since he didn't leave yet. He told me 'cause I asked him again he was taking it away."

"Oh, kiddo. I'm sorry." Dean said, pushing some of Evy's hair out of her face. "Dad didn't mean that, I promise. He'll do something with you soon. Now what happened with Sam?"

"I told him I was sorry 'cause I was mean to him last night."

"I find that hard to believe." Dean said. Evy didn't have a mean bone anywhere in her body.

"He tried to make me feel better when Daddy yelled at me and I told him to go away." Evy explained.

"That's not mean, kiddo." Dean explained, wiping her eyes of the tears that were still spilling. "It's okay if you wanna be alone."

Evy sniffed. "I wanted to talk to him about school but he said no."

"Oh, kiddo. I'm sorry. You have had a rough couple of days. Can I do anything? Make you feel better?"

Evy sniffed again and shook her head. "No. I just wanted someone to listen to me." Evy accepted the napkin Dean offered and blew her nose. "Can I help you make dinner?"

Dean suddenly got an idea. He had been saving up money to buy himself a new Walkman lately, and nearly had just enough for it. But he couldn't stand the lonely, sad, desperate look on Evy's face. With John constantly hunting, Sam and John constantly fighting, and Dean constantly working, Evy was quickly slipping through the cracks.

"Hey, kiddo, I've got an idea. What do you think about us going on a brother sister date?"

"A date?" Evy asked, intrigued. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you and me go get something to eat, maybe go to a movie or something after that."

"Just you and me?" Evy asked.

"Just you and me."

"But I have school tomorrow." Evy said sadly.

Dean frowned. "Actually, Dad said we were leaving the day after tomorrow." Dean explained.

"So tomorrow would have been your last day anyway. Why don't we go out tonight, and you can stay and help me clean up and pack tomorrow instead of going to school?"

"What about Daddy and Sammy?"

"They can take care of themselves for one night. What do you say?"

Evy finally smiled, the first time she'd done so all week. "Okay."

"There we go. Atta girl." Dean said. He lifted her off his lap and set her back onto the floor. "Go to the bathroom and wash your face and get cleaned up. Then meet me at the car. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Deanie."

"Go on." Dean said, gently patting her back to hurry her along.

Evy quickly washed her face and, with Dean's blessing, changed into the only dress she owned. It was almost too big for her now. Sam had given it to her for her sixth birthday. It was white and covered in pink roses, and Evy loved it as much now as she had when Sam had gotten it for her. She put on a sweater and her nice pair of shoes, then went outside to wait for Dean. Several hours later, when Dean was tucking her into bed, he felt a strange sense of time slipping away from him. She was no longer a baby, and it saddened him.

“Sleep tight, baby girl. Deanie loves you.”

_Eight Years Old_

It was time.

Sam was about to take Evy’s heart, stomp on it, and grind it to dust. But he had made his mind up. If he was ever going to take care of Evy, give her a proper life, he had to start by getting one for himself. It would kill him to do it, but he had to.

But he didn’t have to _right this very second._

So Sam took the Stanford letter, folded it into his pocket, and went to find Evy. She was sitting at the kitchen table, focused on a puzzle. Her tongue stuck out in intense concentration, and she placed another piece.

“Hey, Cricket.”

“Hey, Sammy.” Evy answered without looking up from her puzzle.

“Can I help?”

“I got it.” Evy said. She hated it when her brothers offered to help her with things. She could do it herself, and would ask for help if she needed it.

“I know, but I’m bored. Can I do it with you?”

Evy turned to him and smiled. “Okay. Will you do those pieces?”

“Sure will.” Sam then noticed the box for the puzzle. “Is this a five hundred piece puzzle?”

“Yeah! The biggest one I ever did!”

“Well, let’s get to it then.” Sam said. He walked over and kissed her cheek, then wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “I love you, my baby. Always remember that, okay?”

“Sammy? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, baby. Just promise me you’ll always remember that, okay?”

“Okay. But I’m not a baby.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.” Sam said, fighting back tears as he thought of what tomorrow would bring for the both of them. “Let’s get this puzzle done.”

_Nine Years Old_

Evy always told her brothers she wasn’t a baby anymore.

But if she’d known that proving that would leave her _this_ lonely, she’d gladly go back to being a baby right now.   
  


Daddy and Dean had been gone for a day, and already she wanted them back. Sammy was in California, and even though she knew she could call him, she also knew he’d be able to tell that she was sad and she didn’t want to answer all those questions he’d ask her. What’s wrong? Where’s Daddy? Where’s Dean? How long have you been alone? Answering all those would make Sammy mad at Daddy, and she didn’t want to do that. If she wanted the two of them to be together again, making one of them mad at the other wouldn’t help.

But at bedtime, Evy wanted to hear someone’s voice. Daddy and Dean didn’t pick up the phone, so with somewhat shaky hands, she called Sammy. The phone rang a few times before someone picked up.

Someone that definitely wasn’t Sammy.

“Hello?”

“Um, hi. Is Sammy there?”

“Can I tell him who it is?”

“It’s his sister.”

“Sure, sweetie. One second. Sam! Phone!”

Evy heard a rustling sound and Sam finally picked up. “Hello?”

“Hi, Sammy.”

“Hey, Cricket! You okay?”

“Yeah. Just wanted to talk to you.”   
  


“Oh, um, okay. I was just about to go out. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Going out where?” Evy asked.

“Out with some friends. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Evy suddenly felt like her heart was squeezing tightly in her chest. It had been almost a whole two days since she talked to Sammy. She heard him laugh at something and she finally let a tear fall. She was happy that he was having a good time, but at the same time she felt…mad. It took a minute for her to admit that, but she was mad. She was sitting there, all alone, missing him, and he was joking and laughing with his friends. Didn’t he miss her?

She felt jealous too. Jealous that other people were getting to have _her_ Sammy with them, while she was all by herself. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.

“Cricket, you still there?”

But no matter how mad it made her, Evy wouldn’t take his good time from him by crying over the phone to him. He had taken good care of her, and now she would return the favor.

“Yeah, I’m here. I just called to say goodnight.”

“Goodnight?” Sam said curiously. “Oh, right. I forgot about the time change. I’m sorry, Cricket. You want a lullaby or something.”

“No. Just wanted to say goodnight. I love you, Sammy.”

“I love you too, baby.”

“I’m not a baby.” Evy said, somewhat harsher than she intended too.

“Right. Sorry. Love you, Cricket. Sleep well.”

“Bye, Sammy.”

Evy hung up fast so Sammy wouldn’t hear the hitch in her voice. The one that signaled that more tears were about to come. It didn’t take long for Evy to decide to just let them fall.

After all, no one was there to see them. And, she suspected, even grownups cried sometimes when they were all alone in the dark.

_Ten Years Old_

Evy was stunned. She wasn't used to things being pushed around for her. John had never done it. If her birthday fell at a time when John was on a hunt, which was almost every year, she'd get a quick "happy birthday" and that was the end of it. Sometimes not even that. Evy looked down, unsure how to answer Sam and Jess. She’d been living with them for six weeks now, and she was still getting used to being treated with so much care and attention again. She saw Sam put a pancake on her plate, then felt him take her hand. She looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears.

"You okay, Cricket?" he asked.

Evy smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Sam was about to refute her when the phone rang. He got up and answered it quickly. "Hello?...Yeah. Hang on, she's right here…" Sam walked over and handed the phone to Evy. "It's Dean."

Evy smiled and took the phone from him. "Hi, Deanie."

Sam watched her for a minute. He knew if something was really bothering her, she would eventually tell him. It finally occurred to him after a minute of thinking what might really be bothering Evy. She wanted to hear from John. Sam thought about asking her if that was the case, but decided instead to try and distract her. It worked for a little while. After she hung up with Dean, Sam started a food fight with Jess, which Evy eventually joined. They took her out to play in the Quad, something she'd grown fond of in the last few weeks. After around forty-five minutes outside, Evy went back inside to use the bathroom.

As Evy washed up and headed back outside, she spotted Sam's cell phone on the kitchen counter. A thought occurred to her. She picked it up and dialed John's number. She waited a moment before pressing 'SEND', deciding whether or not to go through with it. She had tried to call John several times in the last six weeks, and he had not answered any of her calls. Sam had tried to tell her that everything was okay, that Dad was just sleeping or was on a hunt and couldn't get away. Evy had pretended to buy what Sam was telling her, but it still hurt. She knew that she'd hurt Daddy by leaving, but she just couldn't understand why he wouldn't talk to her. Evy took a breath, deciding that if John wouldn't talk to her this time, that would be it. She pressed 'SEND' and waited.

The phone rang seven long, agonizing times. The whole time Evy was thinking to herself _please, Daddy, please talk to me._ Her heart dropped with each ring, and just as she was about to give up, she heard a click. Her heart leapt for one brief second; until she realized that it wasn't her father, but Dean.

"Hey, kiddo. You okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, um…" Evy was scrambling, unsure what to say. "I was looking for Daddy."

"Oh…" Dean seemed to be scrambling now. "Hang on, honey, I'll go find him."

"Okay!" Evy said brightly.

Maybe this was it. Maybe she really would get to talk to him now. Evy waited as patiently as she could, but it was hard to keep the smile off her face. She knew that Sam was probably looking for her now, but there was no way she was going to stop the call now that she had him close. She was grinning when she heard another voice on the line. Her heart jumped in excitement. It was daddy's voice. He was there. He couldn't avoid her now. Right?

"Hey, kiddo, you still there?" Dean asked when he came back.

"Yeah." Evy answered.

"Dad's not here." Dean told her.

The excitement of the last few seconds were replaced with utter devastation. Dean was lying, but Evy could tell he didn't want to. She fought to keep from crying, and didn't answer Dean for a second.

"You still there, sweetie?" Dean asked again.

"Yeah." Evy said, her voice starting to break.

"I'm sorry, kiddo." Dean said. "I really am."

"I know, Dean." Evy replied, wiping away the first falling tear. "It's okay."

"No." Dean responded. "It isn't. I love you, sweetheart. Dad does too."

"Love you." Evy said, hanging up quickly.

Evy placed the phone on the counter and the dam broke. She slid down to the kitchen floor and hugged her knees, the tears coming now too fast to stop them. She didn't know how long she'd been crying when she heard the front door open.

"Hey, Cricket, are you…" Sam flew to Evy's side when he saw that she was crying. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Cricket, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No." Evy said, looking back up at Sam. "I tried to call Daddy."

Sam's concern was immediately replaced with dread. "What happened?"

  
Evy sniffed and told him sadly. "Dean picked up. Said Daddy wasn't there."

_Fat chance_ , Sam thought. "Maybe he wasn't." He said, trying to comfort her, as he wiped her tears away from her face.

"I heard him." Evy said. "I heard his voice in the background. He was there. He made Dean tell me he wasn't."

Sam sighed. He had gotten used to John's rejection, feeling as if he wasn't good enough for him, but to see Evy so hurt and heartbroken by it made him feel like a failure. He was desperate to make her feel better, show her that no matter what John decided to do, she still meant the world to him. Sam ran his hand up and down her arm to try and comfort her.

"I'm sorry, baby." He said quietly. "Maybe we can try again next week."

"No." Evy said quickly.

  
"No what?" Sam asked.

"I'm done." Evy said. "If he doesn't want to talk to me, then I'm done trying to get him to."

Sam felt his heart shatter. Evy had done absolutely nothing to deserve this, and she was the one suffering the most. Sam, for the first time ever, was completely lost in finding what to say to make her feel better.

"Are you sure?" Sam asked.

Evy nodded and more tears spilled out. For once, she didn’t care about being seen as a baby. She wasn’t her daddy’s baby anymore, so why shouldn’t she cry? The little crack in her heart that had formed when she and Sam left a few weeks earlier grew a little more that day, never to be completely filled in again.


	3. Chapter 3

_Eleven Years Old_

Sam walked inside the apartment and practically threw his backpack onto the bed. He didn't see or hear Evy or Jess, which was frustrating since the apartment wasn't that big. He'd gotten a voicemail from Jess when he stepped out of class. Evy was sick and Jess had picked her up. Sam finally found Jess when she came quietly out of Evy's room.

"What's going on? Is she okay?"

"Relax. She's fine. She's asleep." Jess said. "Come here."

Jess led a very anxious Sam into the kitchen. "Jess, what's going on?"

"Sam, I'm going to tell you. But you have to promise not to freak out." Jess said.

"Freak out?" Sam asked.

"Yes. You cannot make a big deal about this when Evy wakes up. Okay? Promise me." Jess said. Sam nodded, and she finally told him. "She started her period today."

Evy crawled out of bed and walked into the front room, where Sam and Jess were both sitting on their bed. Sam noticed her first, and wanted to get up and grab her in a hug. But he'd promised Jess he wouldn't make a big deal about it, even though to him it was a very big deal. Evy climbed on the bed with them, in between Sam and Jess. She didn't say anything as she put both arms around Sam's waist. Sam did the same, and for a few seconds, neither of them said anything.

"How you feeling?" Sam asked, when he noticed that she was close to falling asleep again.

"Okay." Evy said.

Sam could hear in her voice how tired she was. "Your stomach still hurt?"

"No." Evy answered.

Sam squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

Evy squeezed him back. "Love you too, Sammy."

Jess smiled and put her book down. “Sam, we talked about everything when we got home. She knows what she needs, what to do when she feels like it’s coming, and that she can talk to either one of us if she has some questions.”

Sam nodded. “Okay. Well I guess that’s that. Who’s hungry?”

“Definitely not me.” Evy said with a slight groan.

Concerned, Sam started to question her further, only to see Jess shaking her head. _It’s normal_ , she mouthed. _Water._

“Okay. You don’t have to eat any dinner, just drink some water.” Sam said. “Let’s go, baby girl.”

“Not a baby.” Evy murmured, and Sam was surprised to see a scowl on Evy’s face.

“I guess you’re right.” Sam said sadly. “Let’s go, big girl.”

_Twelve Years Old_

John had a picture in his head of Evy. It was one he carried around with him everywhere he went. He knew it wasn’t an accurate picture, and it hadn’t been for years, but he held it close to him.

In the picture, Evy was tiny, no taller than two feet, holding tightly to Sam’s hand. Her long wavy hair was the mirror image of her long dead mother, and she was always smiling. She would reach up to him, begging him to pick her up.

John missed those days.

But as Dean crossed the room, stopping just short of running to him to embrace him, John saw just how inaccurate-and strikingly accurate-the picture he held in his head was. Evy was definitely holding tight to Sam’s hand. She was also looking towards the floor, trying to look in every direction but at her father. As he greeted Dean and hugged Sam, John prepared for the biggest apology he’d ever had to make. It would be the first time John had spoken to Evy face to face since she was nine years old, and it terrified him more than facing any supernatural creature ever could.

“Hi, little one.”

“Hi, Daddy.” Evy said quietly. She still held Sam’s hand tightly, as if staying connected to him was giving her courage. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Evy smiled and grabbed John in a hug, healing, at least for the moment, a little of the bridge between them.

_Thirteen Years Old_

It was late at night, and Evy was lying in a coma in the children's ward of the local hospital. Sam had called him earlier that night crying, begging him to come down and see Evy. As painful as hearing Evy's voice had been for him the last few years, what Sam had said on the voicemail made him wish he could hear it again.

_Dad, it's Sam. Evy needs you. Now more than ever. Dad, please, please come down here. She's in a coma, and she's dying. Our baby's dying, Dad. If you don't come this time, you may not get another chance. We can work out all our other stuff later. Just get here, Dad, please. Don't let her die without her hearing that you love her._

As soon as he'd hung up the phone, John had raced towards the hospital. The vampires he was hunting could wait. Sam was right; their baby was dying and that made everything else fall to the wayside. But the two-and-a-half hour trip made him realize something. He still hadn't found the thing that killed Mary. If he exposed himself to Sam, Dean, and Evy now it could still put them all in danger. So when he arrived at the hospital that night, he'd waited until visiting hours were over, then walked inside.

John was surprised that no one stopped him. Surprised, but grateful. He made it to the children's ward, where he quickly spotted Dean sleeping in a chair beside a bed. John approached the bed slowly, not really wanting to do this. Evy looked like she was sleeping. To anyone looking in, it would have seemed like John was just standing there, staring at Evy. But one thought kept going through his head. All the times he'd been to see Evy in the last three years, he'd had to keep silent to keep her from seeing him. Now, he could reach over and shake her arm, yell at her, scream at her, make as much noise as he wanted, and she still wouldn't hear him. _If Sam and Dean don't figure out how to stop this thing, it could really be the last time I see her._ He had faith in them, so John just stayed for a few more minutes, watching her sleep. He realized he couldn't stay long or he risked waking up Dean, so John kissed his forefinger and middle finger and pressed it to Evy's forehead.

_Please don't go, little one. Daddy loves you so much it hurts. Please come back._

Fighting back tears, John turned to leave the room. As he made the turn into the hallway, he stopped. He felt goosebumps on his arms, and a small breeze that didn't match the hospital's air conditioning system. But what made him stop was the voice. It was faint, almost indecipherable, and John wasn't even completely sure he did hear it. _Daddy, come back…_ John did look back briefly. Everything in him wanted to do just that. But instead, he turned around, went back to his truck, and drove away.

_I love you, little one. I know it doesn't feel like it, but I do. Keep fighting, and I'll see you soon._

_Fourteen Years Old_

Dean was going to die the next day.

In twenty-four hours, he’d be on top of a funeral pyre, spending the rest of eternity in hell. The certainty was like a heavy jacket on top of him. There was nothing he could do anymore to prevent it. He allowed Sam and Bobby and Evy to keep searching for a way to save him, but it was no use.

There was one thing that made Dean stop. Somehow, Evy had fallen asleep at the table. She was surrounded by books, and her head was resting in her arms. For a moment, Dean didn’t see the fourteen-year-old warrior that Evy had regretfully turned into. He saw the four-year-old Evy, knocked out after claiming that she wasn’t sleepy and she didn’t need to take a nap or go to bed. He saw the six-year-old Evy, climbing into his lap to sneak a movie with him when the two of them were supposed to be in bed. He saw the eight-year-old Evy, hugging his waist and thanking him over and over for bringing Sammy home for Christmas.

Feeling a sense of guilt that threatened to choke him, Dean leaned over and kissed Evy’s cheek. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”

Evy murmured something in her sleep, something that he couldn’t quite make out, but which sounded suspiciously like ‘not a baby’.

_Fifteen Years Old_

Bobby watched Evy hang up the phone and wished he could do anything to take away that kicked puppy look on her face. A week earlier, Sam had walked into Bobby’s house with a sleepy Evy, put her to bed on his couch, then walked out the door and not come back. Evy put the phone on the table and walked into Bobby’s living room, a look of shock on her face which Bobby had only seen before on ghosts that weren’t quite accepting of the fact that they were dead yet.

“Baitfish? What’s the matter? What did Sam say?”

Evy continued to stare off into the living room, having not heard Bobby’s question.

“Baitfish?”

“He left me, Bobby.” Evy said, and for a minute, Bobby swore it was a heartbroken five-year-old kid speaking and not the almost grown Winchester daughter in front of him. “He left me.”

“Who?”

“Sammy.” Evy said. “He said I had to stay with you. That he wasn’t coming back.”

“Oh.” Bobby wished he could say he was completely surprised, but he wasn’t. “He’s just blowing off steam, Baitfish. He’ll be back.”   
  
Evy nodded, acknowledging Bobby’s answer, but it was clear she didn’t believe it. Bobby waited on her to cry or to come over to him for a hug, as she had done countless times when she was younger. Bobby felt his own heart crack a little when she didn’t.

“I’m going to bed.”   
  


Bobby’s own heart cracked a little as he watched her walk up the steps, helpless to help her heal, wishing for the days when a hug and kiss from uncle Bobby could fix a broken heart the way it had fixed skinned knees and fevers and bad dreams before.


	4. Chapter 4

_Sixteen Years Old_

“Really?”

“Really, kid. You earned it.”

“Wow. Thanks, Dean!”

Evy grabbed the keys and got into the front seat of the Impala. Dean was nervous the entire time, his knee bouncing up and down, but ten minutes later, she was back. Sam, who had been in the library the entire time, stared in amazement as Evy climbed out of the driver’s seat and handed Dean a grocery bag and the keys.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Dean said. “She earned it.”

“You let her drive the Impala? Alone?”

“Just to the grocery store and back.”

“Dean! I’m twenty-six and you _never_ let me drive.” Sam said indignantly. “Much less drive alone.”

Dean, satisfied the car was in good shape, simply shrugged as he took the keys back from Evy. “She’s cuter than you.”

Rather than respond, Sam simply rolled his eyes and headed inside.

_Seventeen Years Old_

Sam held in his hands another cup of coffee, his fifth in just a few hours. It most likely would have been more if he hadn't been sneaking them past Dean. He stared down at Evy, who was lying in bed for the third day in a row with a high, delirious fever. She was sleeping now, after being awake and crying for nearly an hour straight. Sam knew whatever exhaustion he was feeling at the moment was nothing compared to what Evy was going through. That and that alone was what kept him awake.

When Evy started whimpering again, Sam put the coffee on the table next to the bed. He checked the clock; it was way too early to give her any more pain medication. Sam sighed; he hated this more than facing any monster. He wished he could trade places with her and be the one on the bed right now, squirming in pain. Sam decided to do the only thing he could think of. He just hoped it would work. He laid down on the bed next to her, then gingerly picked her up so that he could hold her without hurting her. She winced a little in her sleep.

"Shh. It's okay, Cricket."

Evy calmed a little. She opened her eyes and seemed to check to make sure it was him there. Sam realized that she wasn't awake because she was hurting again; she'd been having a nightmare. Sam held her close for a moment before he got an idea. Evy instinctively leaned into Sam's chest, listening to his heartbeat. Sam kissed the top of her head, and felt his heart sink a little when he realized she was still burning up.

  
"I'm so sorry, baby." He whispered. When Evy whimpered again, Sam said, "Shh. Sammy's here, Cricket." Another idea occurred to him. "Don't you feel it growing, day by day, people getting ready for the news…"

Evy calmed under Sam's soothing voice, and soon fell back to sleep. Sam sang to her a couple more times, before deciding she was asleep for at least a couple more hours. He watched her sleep for a few minutes before whispering,

"Sleep well, Cricket. Sammy loves you."

_Eighteen Years Old_

For a loony bin, the place wasn’t half bad. It didn’t even feel to Dean much like a hospital. The walls were painted bright colors, there was artwork up, and the place just had a general cheerful feel to it.

Evy had been there for six months so far. The doctors still weren’t sure what to call her ‘condition’, but Dean knew exactly what was wrong with her. Their life had finally taken its toll on her.

From the day she was born, Dean was convinced, Evy had been doomed. At least he and Sam had gotten a little time with their mother, but Evy’s had died just a few minutes after she was born. She’d lost Sam at eight years old to Stanford, lost Dean and their father when Sam had taken custody of her at nine, lost Dean again when he went to hell, lost Sam again _while_ Dean was in hell, and now Sam was gone again.

It made Dean’s head hurt to even think about it.

On top of all of that, after being attacked by the hellhound, Evy had never regained full use of her leg. On the best days, her limp was barely noticeable, but on the bad days, Dean knew she had trouble even functioning because of the pain. But, being a Winchester, she wasn’t about to complain of it.

There were days that Evy seemed perfectly fine, and Dean would wonder why he had decided to leave her there in the first place. Then, she would slip up and say something, ask him some question like where Sam was, where their father was, or why he hadn’t come to see her the day before, and he would remember the reason.

Dean prayed today was a good day. The last four had been bad ones. Really bad ones. Evy couldn’t remember why she was in the hospital, would cry and beg Dean to take her home, to find Sammy and Daddy and get them to break her out of here, do anything he could to help her. It tore at Dean’s heart in only the way that Evy could, and he had to remind himself of why he was doing this. Even though he had Ben and Lisa, Evy was the only family he truly had left.

So he stood outside her door, took a deep breath to steel the pain coursing through his heart, and walked inside.

Evy was sitting at the small desk provided for her by the hospital. She was writing in her journal, a habit she’d started before she could even properly write by drawing countless pictures in spiral notebooks as a baby, leading up to filling page after page of her thoughts that Dean now treasured when she couldn’t remember who she was. She seemed to be intently focused on what she was doing, a good sign for Dean. He knocked on the side of the door and Evy turned and smiled at him.

“Deanie!”

“Hey, baby girl.” Dean said. “How you feeling?”

“I’m good today, Dean.”

“Really?” Dean asked skeptically.

“Really. All there.” Evy said, pointing to her head.

“Okay. Good. So why don’t you tell me what you been up to?”

On the good days, Dean would stay with Evy until late. The hospital had very lax visiting hours, and the only nurse who really enforced them was easily bribed. It was on those nights that Dean thanked the heavens above that he had a woman as forgiving as Lisa. As he left that night around midnight, he saw a text from Lisa.

_I take it today was a good day?_

Dean smiled and answered her back. _Yeah. It was a good day. Baby girl’s bouncing back._

_Nineteen Years Old_

"What do you mean I can't go?"

Dean was shocked. Evy had been taking it easy on hunting ever since the two of them had started back on it, but she seemed almost completely back to normal now. Maybe it was the fact that Sam had his soul back now, and that she wasn't leery of spending any alone time with him, but she seemed to be trying to prove to the two of them her abilities again. The problem was, Dean didn't doubt Evy's abilities. That wasn't what was making him try to get her to stay behind.

"You can't go because the dragon goes after…" Dean squirmed. He hated even bringing this subject up around Evy.

"After what, Dean?" Evy asked.

"Virgins." Sam answered. If he waited for Dean to answer her they'd be there forever. "Sorry, Cricket, I'm with Dean on this one."

  
The realization hit Evy like a slap to the face. They didn't know. She could talk to them both, about anything, and she knew that. But the magnitude of what she was about to tell them almost made her decide to just stop fighting and not go on the hunt. _No_ , she thought. _They're gonna have to find out sometimes. Might as well tell them now._ Evy took a deep breath.

"Oh, boy." She said.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Um, guys, I got some bad news." She said.

Sam and Dean both looked at her concerned. "What is it, Cricket?" Sam asked, putting down the book he had in his hand.

"Well, you see, the dragon's not coming after me." She said, waiting to see who would catch her meaning first.

"Look, baby girl, this isn't about what I think you can do…" Dean said.

"Dean, stop." Evy said, interrupting him. "I _know_ the dragon is not coming after _me."_ She pointed to herself for emphasis.

It was Sam who caught it first. He was rarely speechless, but his mouth hung open in pure shock. Dean was still babbling, trying to explain himself. When he noticed Sam not commenting, he turned to ask him for backup, then stopped. He realized what Evy had just told them and stared at her just like Sam.

"Wha…Whe…When?" Sam asked.

_When?_ Evy thought. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"When did this happen?" Sam asked. "You're with us almost 24/7."

  
"It wasn't recently." Evy said. As amusing as their reactions were to her, she decided to speed the process along and just tell them the whole truth. "It happened when I lived with Bobby. While Dean was in hell and you were off with Ruby."

"You were _fifteen_!" Dean said, speaking for the first time since he'd realized what she said.

"What the hell was Bobby doing?"

  
"You're mad at _Bobby_?" Evy asked.

"Hell, yes!" Dean answered emphatically. "He just let you go off with some kid you met on a hunt…"

"First of all," Evy said, jumping up from her seat on the motel bed. Though she was a few inches shorter than Dean and more petite, the change in her demeanor intimidated him and he shut right up. "I didn't hunt during those four months. Bobby enrolled me in the local high school and I went back to school. Secondly, I've never told Bobby. He thinks that we were at the movies that night. But I wouldn't be surprised if he's figured it out by now. Thirdly, Bobby had met him several times and knew who he was. Finally, I know better than to just be alone with "some random guy". I'm not stupid, Dean. We used protection, and I did all the checks. He wasn't a demon, werewolf, or anything like that. He was just an awkward, shy teenager who thought the world revolved around me. I don't regret it and I never will. Got it?"

"Got it." Dean said quietly after a moment.

"Cricket, why didn't you tell us all this?" Sam asked.

Evy turned to him sadly. "Because I didn't trust you at the time." She said honestly. When Sam turned away, she walked over and wrapped her arms around his neck. "But I do now. Which is why I told you. Are you mad?"

"No." Sam answered. "I just wish you didn't have to grow up so fast."

Evy smiled and turned back to Dean. "Deanie?"

"No. I'm not mad." Dean answered. "Not at you. But who was the kid?"

Evy laughed. "Nice try. I'm not telling you his name."

"What? You trust Sam but not me?" Dean asked.

"I'm not telling _either_ of you his name." Evy answered. "I don't trust either of you not to track him down and kill him."

"Ah, come on…" Dean said.

"No, Dean." Evy said firmly. "Now can I go on the hunt?"

Sam and Dean shared a look before Sam answered, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Thank you, Sammy." She said, kissing his cheek. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom then I'll be ready to go."

Sam grabbed her and hugged her before letting her go. "You know how much I love you, right?" he asked.

Evy smiled. "Yeah, Sammy. To the moon and back. I love you too."

Dean had snuck behind the two of them. "Love you too, kiddo."

  
"Love you more, Deanie."

_Twenty Years Old_

"Bobby, how could you just let her go off with that guy?" Dean asked for the thousandth time in two hours.

Bobby chuckled, obviously enjoying Dean's torment. "I know him and Baitfish does too."

  
"Well, who was he?" Sam asked, only slightly less annoyed than Dean.

"If Baitfish wants you to know that, she'll tell you when she gets here." Bobby said.

"Where'd they go?" Dean tried.

"Dean, she's twenty." Bobby said, exasperated. "If she wants you to know that, she'll tell you then too."

_Six Hours Earlier_

" _Mr. Singer?"_

_Sam, Dean, and Bobby looked up at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. A tall, skinny kid with messy black hair stood there. He looked to be around twenty, the same age as Evy. Before anyone could reply, Evy came back around the corner from the bathroom._

" _Tommy?"_

_The kid, apparently named Tommy, turned around to face Evy and his face lit up in a smile. "Abby?"_

" _Wow. Hi!"_

_As Evy grabbed Tommy to give him a hug, Sam and Dean mouthed to each other "Abby?" Bobby shook his head and watched the two of them, smiling. He had known Tommy was coming and called him to surprise Evy._

" _What are you doing here?" Evy asked as she pulled away from him._

" _Um…" Tommy looked towards Bobby, who nodded and pointed towards the outside of the diner. "Can we talk outside?"_

" _Sure." Evy said. She grabbed her bag and saw the confused looks on the faces of Sam and Dean. "Um…" She decided it was best to introduce them and leave. "Tommy, these are my brothers, Sam and Dean."_

_Tommy quickly shook hands with Sam first, and then Dean. "Your brother Dean? The one who…"_

" _It's a very, very, very long story." Evy said. "Let's head outside and talk like you said."_

_Had she not been going outside with Tommy, Evy would have laughed at the looks on Sam and Dean's faces. She just wanted to get away and talk to Tommy in private. Once she was out the door, Sam and Dean started in on Bobby._

" _Bobby, what the hell?"_

_Bobby deftly avoided their protests, and forbade them from going outside and barging in on Evy and Tommy's conversation. He refused to tell them what was going on, more out of amusement than any other reason. He fought back a laugh. Less than a minute after going outside, Evy walked back in and over to the table next to Bobby. She was grinning and looked excited._

" _He told me you called him." Bobby just shrugged as if to say_ yeah, so? _and Evy wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Bobby. You're the best."_

" _You're welcome, Baitfish." Bobby said._

" _I have one more thing to ask you for."_

_Evy leaned in close and whispered something in Bobby's ear, making him laugh. It took her close to a full minute, and by the time she finished, Bobby was simply nodding his head in agreement with whatever she was saying. When Evy pulled away, she simply kissed Bobby on the cheek, thanked him again, and turned around and left, leaving Sam and Dean sitting there with their mouths hanging open._

" _Bobby, what the…" Dean started to ask._

Bobby's thoughts were interrupted by his cell phone going off. It was a text from Evy. _I can almost hear them griping about this. Would you please give them the basics about Tommy so that I'm not playing twenty questions when I get there?_ Bobby chuckled and put the phone away. He did as Evy asked and told them how Evy had met Tommy. He had been her only real friend when she'd started back to school while living with him a few years earlier. They'd dated a few times. Tommy had known her as Abigail Singer, and him as her father. Just as he was ending the story, Evy walked back in. She waved out into the parking lot, then turned around grinning to everyone. When she noticed the looks on Sam and Dean's faces, she laughed out loud and walked back over to Bobby.

"You have fun, Baitfish?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah." Evy said. "Yeah, I did."

"What'd you guys do?" Sam asked.

"Nothing." Evy said. "Went and got burgers and talked."

"For seven hours?" Dean asked.

"Yes, Dean." Evy answered, rolling her eyes slightly. "For seven hours. We, um…." Evy looked to Bobby, who nodded in a silent understanding. "We had a lot to talk about."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

Evy sighed. "We were more than just friends." She admitted. "And I kind of left him for another guy."

"Who?" Dean asked.

"Who what?" Evy asked.

"You said you left him for another guy." Sam said. "Who was the guy?"

Suddenly, all of Evy's excitement over seeing Tommy again drained form her face. She looked sad. She looked down at the floor for nearly thirty seconds before answering them. She took Bobby's hand and said,

"I'm going for a walk."

"Alright, Baitfish. Be careful." Bobby said.

Evy nodded and headed out the door without saying anything else to them.

"Bobby?" Dean and Sam asked at the same time.

Bobby, who was watching the door where Evy had just left, sighed. "It was you two."

  
Sam and Dean looked at each other, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"She stopped seeing him when Dean came back from hell." Bobby explained. "When she went back on the road with you two."

Neither brother quite knew what to say to that. They both knew that Evy had gone back to school during the four months she'd lived with Bobby, but neither fully realized exactly what she had given up. They both felt guilty. They wanted her to have a normal life as possible, but evidently Evy had chosen to give that up and stay with them. Evy returned a few minutes later. Sam and Dean got up together and, without warning, engulfed her in a hug.

"We love you, Cricket." Sam told her. "More than anything."

"Love you, kiddo." Echoed Dean.


	5. Chapter 5

_Twenty-One Years Old_

A year to the day earlier, Evy had been sitting in a motel room, talking to Sam, Dean, and Bobby about a long lost friendship. She'd been frustrated with herself for leaving that friendship to stay with Sam and Dean.

Now she'd do anything to have the three of them back.

Bobby was dead. He'd died less than a week after that conversation in the motel room. She'd told Bobby about her college plans, and, as usual, he'd been supportive. Evy wasn't sure, but when she told Bobby where she was planning to attend, she had a feeling that Bobby had somehow pulled strings and gotten her the full scholarship she'd been awarded less than a week later. She'd thought about putting those plans on hold when Bobby died, but she didn't. And so, life had taken its twists and turns and she ended up here.

But it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as she'd thought it would be.

Evy already had some college credit, so she'd started in the summer semester as a sophomore. At the conclusion of her first semester, Sam had surprised her with a visit. He'd made it clear to Evy before she left that if she was starting school, he wanted her to focus on school and not be involved in hunting. He and Dean would send her money for groceries or anything else she might need, but school was it.

Evy had figured that Sam and Dean were on a hunt in the area, and that they were just stopping in to leave her some cash and see what her life at school was like.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

It had taken weeks for Evy to wrap her brain around what Sam told her. Dean was missing, presumed dead. She wanted to leave school and help look for him, but Sam wouldn't allow it. No, he said. We're done. You stay at school, I'll call you when I find a place to stay, and that was it. She hadn't heard anything from him for nearly a week after that, and by a month later, Evy was completely on her own. Sam would call every couple of days, but the conversations were short and to the point. Do you need anything? No? Okay? Love you, Cricket. Bye.

_No Missed Calls_

Evy felt her heart drop in disappointment. It had been three days since she'd heard from Sam, the longest they'd gone without talking in a long time. She set her backpack down, thankful that her roommate wasn't home. Sam had been in the back of her mind all day. She knew that he was in Texas somewhere, but he wouldn't be specific with her.

"I don't know where I'll end up, Cricket." he had said. "I'll call you in a few days."

The call had ended without Sam saying "I love you", the first time she remembered that ever happening. He'd texted it to her that night and every night since, but she missed hearing him say it. Just as she sat down on her bed, an alarm went off on her phone.

_Call Dean and say Happy Birthday_

Evy felt her heart break. Dean had been missing now for weeks. Sam had decided not to look for him, and after thinking it over, she had decided not to either. But it was killing her. Losing Dean seemed to mean losing Sam too. And with Bobby and John gone, she felt more alone now than ever. Evy stared at the message for a couple minutes, tears welling up in her eyes as she thought about Dean. A knock at the door broke her out of her thoughts.

"One second!" she said, wiping her face before answering it. At the door was Jackson Kenley, another student in her freshmen English class. "Oh, hey, Jack." Evy answered, sniffing slightly.

"What's up?"

"Are you okay?" he asked immediately. "You look like you've been crying."

"No, I'm fine." Evy said. "Did you need something?"

"Um, yeah." Jack said. "My laptop died in class today. Could I copy your notes?"

"Sure." Evy said, walking over and pulling her laptop out of her backpack. "Come on in. I'll email them to you."

"Thanks." Jack said, walking in. He looked around and noticed that she was alone. "Where's your roommate?"

"Off at the library, I think." Evy answered simply.

"Who's Dean?" Jack asked suddenly.

Evy stopped what she was doing and immediately turned to Jack. "What?"

"Sorry. Your phone's blinking." Jack explained, pointing to Evy's phone which was still on the table.

"Oh." Evy said, turning back to her laptop. She swallowed hard and answered, "Dean's my brother."

"Older or younger?" Jack asked.

Though Evy knew Jack was just trying to be polite and make small talk, she bit back a sharp response of m _ind your own business_. She didn't feel like talking about Dean or Sam right then. She needed to focus on her schoolwork. But being reminded about it made the tears start flowing again. Jack heard her stop typing and glanced at her, alarmed to see that she'd started crying.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked, taking a tissue from Evy's roommate's desk and handing it to her.

"Yeah." Evy said, dabbing at her eyes again. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Jack said. "Look, I know you don't know me real well, but you can talk to me."

Evy smiled and brushed her hair back behind her ear. She had a bit of a crush on Jack, and was nervous talking to him. But he seemed really sweet, and she did need to talk about what was going on in her life. She knew she couldn't tell him everything, but it might help to open up a little. She turned to Jack and explained,

"Dean's my older brother. He went missing a few weeks ago."

"Missing?" Jack asked. "What happened?"

"My, um, other brother, Sammy called. He said that Dean was gone and he didn't know where he was." Evy said. "We haven't seen him since."

"So you've got two older brothers?" Jack asked. Evy nodded and pointed at a picture on her desk of the two of them. "Where's Sammy?"

"He's kind of….drifting right now. I'm not sure exactly where he is." Evy said.

"What about your parents?" Jack asked. "What do they think of all this?"

"My mom died when I was born. My dad died when I was fourteen. Sam and Dean pretty much raised me."

The next thing she knew, they were talking about anything and everything. Jack soon had her laughing so hard she was crying all over again. They went out for coffee, and came back to the dorm, still talking. Evy checked her phone when she realized someone was trying to get ahold of her. It was a text from her roommate.

_Are you okay? You never came back last night._

Evy, alarmed, checked the clock on her phone. It was 6:15am. "Oh, my God." She said, laughing.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Look." Evy said, showing him her phone. "We've been talking for fourteen hours."

"What?" Jack said. "Really?"

"Yeah. You came to get your notes at four o'clock yesterday."

"I guess you're right." Jack said. "Well, that answers a question for me."

"What question?" Evy asked curiously.

"Whether or not I can do this."

Jack suddenly put a hand behind Evy's head and gently pulled her towards him. He kissed her slowly, and pulled away, laughing at Evy's dazed expression.

"Was I right?" he asked.

After a long moment, Evy asked, "Right about what?"

Jack laughed again. "Whether I could do that."

"Why don't you try it again and we'll see?" Evy said.

"Okay." Jack said, laughing all over again.

Suddenly her problems with Sam and Dean seemed far away. Her heartache of a few hours earlier was now down to just a dull ache, and as she locked hands with Jack, she couldn't keep the smile off her face. When Jack had to leave for a class, he asked hopefully,

"See you tonight?"

"You bet." Evy said, giving him one last kiss on the cheek.

_Maybe things will be okay._

_Twenty-two Years Old_

"Enough!" Evy shouted.

Sam and Dean both stopped and stared at Evy. Dean had insisted on coming to see Evy in person when he'd gotten back from purgatory the day before. The meeting had gone great at first, but Sam and Dean had devolved into another argument over Sam not searching for Dean while he was gone. Before either of them could say anything, Evy continued.

"Dean, you're upset he didn't look for you. I get that. But I'm glad he didn't. Sam's been happier this year than I've seen him since we were with Jess. If you can't understand that, tough. But I'm not gonna let you give Sam a hard time about this. The three of us did agree not to look for each other."

Dean was startled, but still tried to defend himself. "But, we always looked for each other…"

"Like you went looking for Sam when he was in hell?" Evy asked.

"That was different…." Dean answered.

"No. It really wasn't, Dean. Sam made you promise not to look for him in hell, and you didn't." Evy said.

"I was taking care of you!" Dean said.

"That's a lame excuse and you know it." Evy said. "It was nearly a month after Sam was in hell before I got sick. You had plenty of time to start looking for him. No, you went straight to Lisa's and stayed there." Dean finally stopped trying to defend himself and looked down. Evy walked over and wrapped her arms around him. "Enough fighting. I missed you, Deanie."

Dean returned her hug, thinking to himself _God, I missed you too, baby_. "I missed you too, kiddo." He patted Evy's back and told her, "Now come on. Tell me what you've been up to."

Evy took them over to her favorite coffee house, telling them about her life at school. She went into details about the classes she was taking and what she was learning in them. Sam was fascinated, but Dean's eyes began to glaze over. Evy decided to leave out telling them about Jack, who was away visiting his parents. She didn't want to deal with them asking a million questions about him, especially with Dean still being somewhat shaken from his experience in purgatory. When Sam and Dean left early the next morning, Evy grabbed Dean around the neck for what seemed like the fiftieth time since he'd shown up.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Evy whispered in his ear.

"And I'm proud of you, kiddo." Dean said. "You need anything, call us, okay?"

"Okay." Evy said. It had been a long year without Dean, and she didn't want to let him go. "I love you, Deanie."

"Love you too, kiddo."

_Twenty-three Years Old_

As Sam and Dean sat in the kitchen eating their breakfast, they were both shocked when they heard singing coming from down the hall.

"If I just breathe, let it fill the space between, I'll know, everything is all right." Evy came into the kitchen and headed to the coffeepot, still singing at the top of her lungs, ear to ear grin on her face. "Breathe, every little piece of me, you'll see, everything is all right, if I just breathe." She stopped singing as she turned to face Dean and Sam. "Morning, guys."

Sam chuckled. "You're in a good mood."

"Yep." She said as she finished filling her thermos. She kissed Sam and Dean both on the cheek.

"Care to share?" Dean asked. "You've never exactly been a morning person."

"Sure, why not?" Evy said. "Jack got here early. I'm going to meet him in a minute. We're gonna spend the day together before we all meet up tonight."

Dean started to object, but Evy was already heading out the door. Sam wished her a good day, and Evy headed out towards town. Her heart felt lighter than it had in years. Jack was here, her family was back together, and her life was finally in place. Everything really was, as her favorite song said, all right.

Unfortunately, that feeling didn't last long. Evy pulled up to the café Jack had asked her to meet him at, and walked inside. She spotted Jack over in the corner, and started to run to him, until she saw that he wasn't alone. A familiar looking brunette woman sat with him, laughing at something he was saying. When Evy headed towards them, it suddenly dawned on her who the woman was.

"Casey?" she said.

The woman turned around, her identity confirmed. "Hey, girl. Surprise!" she said, getting up to hug her.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" Evy asked, hugging her back.

"Hey, sweetie." Jack said quietly, offering her a hug and kiss, which Evy returned as well. "We need to talk to you."

Evy's heart suddenly lodged in her throat. She didn't like Jack's tone, and Casey was suddenly looking guilty too. Evy quietly took a chair on the other side of the table, and a waitress came over to ask Evy if she wanted anything. Evy requested a glass of ice water. Once the waitress had scampered off, Evy turned back to the two people in front of her. Casey had been her roommate for the last year and a half, and had turned into her best friend. Evy waited for an explanation. There was an awkward silence, and Jack started to talk.

"Sweetheart, I need to tell you something. _We_ need to tell you something." Jack said.

"Okay. You two are scaring me. What's going on?" Evy said, though she had a sick feeling she knew what it was already.

Jack took a breath and finally told her. "Casey and I are together."

 _I cannot have heard that right_. Evy thought. "What do you mean, you two are together?"

Casey took over from there. "We're together. We're a couple. We have been for a few months now."

Evy's brain seemed to stall. She just could not process what the two of them were telling her. No one said anything, and once the shock wore off, the famous Winchester temper started to take over. The waitress came over, and Evy thanked her with gritted teeth. She didn't drink the water though; she just sat there stirring it with the straw.

"Why?" she finally asked quietly, not looking at either of them.

"Sweetie…" Jack started.

"Don't call me that." Evy responded bitterly, finally looking at him with a hateful glare.

"Evy, we're sorry. We didn't want to hurt you." Casey said.

"You didn't want to hurt me?" Evy said, voice getting noticeably louder with every word. "My best friend and my boyfriend are _sleeping together,_ and the two of you didn't want to hurt me? How long has this been…" Before Evy could finish her question, the answer hit her. "Oh, my God. You two started this when my brother was in the coma, didn't you?"

Both looked at each other, guilt clearly etched on their faces.

"Wow. I am so stupid." Evy said, burying her face in her hands. "I actually felt guilty for not spending enough time with you." she said to Jack.

"It started before your brother was in the coma." Jack confessed.

"What? When?" Evy demanded.

"It started when you went to see your brother in Texas." he said.

Evy's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "That was almost two years ago. We've only been together for two and a half." She turned to Casey. "You've been sleeping with him the entire time we've been friends."

It wasn't a question, so Casey just nodded.

"Wow." Evy laughed humorlessly. She got up and started to head out the door, her water having not been touched. "You guys sure came a long way just to humiliate me."

"We didn't come to humiliate you." Jack said. "We came because we just got tired of lying to you."

"Wait." Evy noticed something on Casey's hand. "Why did you come all the way here? Why not wait until I got back to school?"

If possible, Casey looked even more guilty.

"We're on the way to see my family." Jack explained. "I asked Casey to marry me last night. We're engaged."

"Wow." Evy breathed out, blinking back tears as she gripped the table to steady herself. The first tear slipped down her cheek. "Wow."

"Evy, I'm sorry…" Jack started to say.

Evy chose to ignore him, getting up and starting to walk to the door. But, unknown to him, Jack got stupid and grabbed her shoulder. Evy, who was normally the calmest and most collected of her siblings, suddenly did something that would have astounded both her brothers had they been there. When she felt Jack's hand on her shoulder, she turned around and punched him in the nose as hard as she could. Casey jumped up, shocked, and went to check on him. Jack was sitting up with a bloody nose. The waitress came back over to the table, offering to call the police.

"No." Jack said, to everyone's surprise. "No, let her go. I deserved it."

Evy didn't waste time; she turned on her heel and ran to her car. She sped back towards the bunker, wiping tears away as she drove. She reached the bunker in a blur, flung open the door and ran down the stairs. Sam was in the front room, presumably researching cases. When she came in the door, he checked his watch to be sure that he and Dean weren't late.

"Hey, you're home early…" he started to comment, and stopped when he saw her face. "Cricket, what's wrong?"

Evy said nothing, just started sobbing, and Sam immediately got up and swept her in his arms. She cried inconsolably for several minutes, until she was finally calm enough Sam led her to a chair and sat her down. Sam knelt down in front of her. Though her sobbing had stopped, she was still crying, and Sam reached up and wiped tears away with his thumb, just like he'd done when she was little.

"Cricket, please tell me what's going on." he asked gently. "Talk to me."

The story came out in pieces, amidst broken sobs and even more tears. When she had finally gotten the whole story out, Sam sat in a stunned silence for a minute before murmuring "Wow." Her tears had finally stopped, at least for the moment, but she still appeared miserable. Sam wrapped her in another hug, unsure of how to help her this time. Until he got an idea.

"Come on." he said, pulling her arm and leading her down the hall.

Evy had no clue where he was leading her to, but she complied; he led her down the hallway and into his room, where he sat her up on the bed. He started Netflix on his TV and handed her the remote. She smiled, picked out a movie that she'd never seen, a comedy, and settled back while Sam went into the kitchen. He came back several minutes later with two heaping bowls of chocolate ice cream. He handed her one, and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. They finished the first movie and were about to start the second when Dean walked in.

"Hey, I thought we were all going…" he stopped talking immediately when he saw Evy, who was cuddled next to Sammy, with her red rimmed bleary eyes. "What the hell happened?" he asked.

Evy gave him the abridged version, pushing herself up to a sitting position. "Jack dumped me."

she said, wiping her eyes again.

Sam reached over and rubbed her back gently, but Dean's temper flared up. "What? Why?"

"He's been sleeping with my best friend." Evy said, and her voice broke a little.

Dean had to stop himself from shouting. "That son of a bitch." The sight of Evy in pain, so clearly heartbroken, activated every big brother instinct he had. "I'm gonna lay his ass flat on the ground."

Realizing that she had left that part of the story out when talking to Sammy about it, she smiled. "I, um, kinda already did that."

"You what?" Sam and Dean asked at the same time.

"Yeah. I punched him right before I left the café." she said.

Sam was too stunned to speak, but Dean was clearly proud. "Did you put your weight behind it?"

Evy nodded. "I bloodied his nose."

"That's my girl." Dean said proudly, walking over to give her a hug.

_Twenty-four Years Old_

"I know you're in there somewhere. Please, Cricket, hear me. Fight this. Fight it hard, please. I know you're hurting, and I know it feels like it'll be easier to let it go. But I can't do this without you. Fighting the bad guys, fighting the monsters, it doesn't mean anything without you there. You're my heart. My reason for getting up in the morning. I'll keep my promise to you, I swear. Just please promise me you'll fight."

Sam waited almost a whole half minute before moving. He didn't believe in miracles anymore, not really, so he didn't know what he was expecting. When she still said nothing, Sam started to stand up and take the water bottle back to the kitchen. When he let go of Evy's hand, he jumped when he felt her take his hand back. When he turned around, she was looking at him and not the wall.

"Cricket?" he asked. Was she getting better?

Evy moved her lips a little, but nothing came out. She shut her eyes for a moment, then opened them again and spoke very slowly. The hand that wasn't holding his pointed towards herself.

"Baby."

"What?" Sam asked.

Evy pointed towards herself again, then back at him. "B…baby."

"Yes." Sam laughed with relief. It was the first word she had said in nearly two days. "Yes. Yes, you're my baby. You always will be."

Lighting Sam's heart again, Evy smiled. "Baby."

Sam grabbed Evy into a hard hug again. "You have no idea how happy you've made me right now."

_Twenty-five Years Old_

"Thank you." Evy's eyes were welling up with tears. She glanced at the clock. Twelve more minutes to go. "Guys, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what, Cricket?" Sam said, genuinely confused. What could she possibly have to be sorry about?

Evy's lip trembled and her voice broke as she answered. She sounded like a sad, brokenhearted child. "Leaving you. I don't want to, but…"

"Hey." Sam said, pulling her back to him in another hug. "You have nothing, _nothing_ , to be sorry for. Do you understand me?"

Evy nodded, but for the first time since waking up, she was sobbing openly. "I love you guys." she said brokenly.

"We love you too, baby girl." Dean said. He was holding Evy's hand tightly, and finally had his own tears streaming down his face.

"Love you, Cricket." Sam said.

For the millionth time in her life, he found himself cuddling her close, but this time was different. Sam knew it would be the last time, and that thought made his breath catch in his chest. He couldn't breathe, and he felt sure that when Evy took her last breath, he would too. The clock continued to tick, and they continued to sit there, Sam holding Evy close to him, Dean holding her hand, and Cass just standing by looking helpless. When the clock hit the two minute mark, Evy spoke again.

"Sammy?"

Sam swallowed, his voice barely audible. "Yeah, Cricket?"

"Sing to me?"

Sam nodded, and began the lullaby he'd sung to her as a baby. Tears trickled down all three men's faces and Evy's. Evy closed her eyes slowly, her ear leaning on Sam's chest, the sound of his voice and the steady thump of his heartbeat putting her to sleep. Ninety seconds later, as Sam continued to sing and hold her, Evelyn Abigail Winchester took her last breath of life.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: For those of you who haven’t read my early Evy stories, I’m about to give you a big spoiler. Evy, like every other Supernatural character who dies, doesn’t stay dead. Enjoy!**

_Epilogue_

Sam had never been a heavy drinker. He was now.

He understood now why Dean escaped to bottles when things got too heavy. Sam had always tried to stop him, to pull him out of the bottle so he wouldn’t drown in it. Though Sam loved his father and had long ago forgiven him for all the things they’d fought over, he didn’t want to see Dean turn into him.

Now, Sam supposed, he was the one most likely to mimic his father’s drinking habit.

He’d made it through a half bottle of…whatever the hell it was in his hand that he’d taken from Dean’s cabinet in the kitchen. Dean had never expressly forbidden Sam from taking anything out of the cabinet, but Sam had never felt the need to do so either, beyond the odd single drink when they were celebrating a hunting victory.

Though the pain had definitely been dulled, it wasn’t even close to being gone completely. Sam wondered if he’d ever feel whole again. It struck him ironic that the one person in the world to give him the most joy now caused him the most pain. The only one that had even come close to giving Sam the same joy that Evy given him was Jess. And she was gone too.

Dean had come in earlier, and Sam could tell he wanted to say something. But everything Sam could think that he might want to say fell short. So Dean had settled for just sitting with Sam, drinking with him a little, then going off to do whatever it was he’d been doing for the last two weeks.

Nearly the whole of the first week after Evy died had been spent either crying or in complete silence. Sam knew now that he’d been in shock, and there were days he wished he could go back. Numbness was better than this. Better than this constant, throbbing, pulsating pain that could only be dulled and would stick around, Sam was certain, for the rest of his life.

_Sammy…_

There it was again. That damn voice. Evy’s voice, calling for him. Sam took the cup in his hand and threw it against the wall, trying now to rage the pain out instead of drink it out. But all that succeeded in doing was pulling the pain that he’d deadened earlier out and making it sharp and unbearable all over again.

“Damn it!” Sam shouted. “Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!”

The anger drained and, again, all he was stuck with was the pain. But what Sam didn’t know was that he _wasn’t_ alone. Part of Evy’s blessing, or curse, depending on how she defined on what day, as a Sensitive, was that even in Heaven she felt her loved one’s pain keenly. While Dean and Cass missed her, missed her tremendously, Sam’s heart was in a million pieces. She didn’t know why she was so surprised. He was the one who had cared for her day to day, nearly every day, for twenty-five years. He knew when she was sick, when she was hurt, when she was scared, when she was sad. He was the one she went to when she was happy, she told him things first, she talked to him about silly things and important things. Evy suddenly felt guilty. While she enjoyed her time in heaven with her mother and father and all her other loved ones, Sam was stuck here, hurting and falling apart. Evy walked over to him, placed a hand on his shoulder cautiously, and whispered,

“I’m sorry, Sammy.”

_But Wait, There’s More_

_Three Years Later_

Was she really here?

Sam was afraid to leave the room, for fear of waking up and finding out it was a dream. It had been three days, but Evy was still here, just in a slightly different form. Based on answers to questions they’d asked her earlier, Sam and Dean had discovered she was six years old. Chuck had become unusually friendly and brought her to them as a gift.

She was here to stay. Here for Sam to raise, all over again.

Evy moaned a little in her sleep and woke up. She’d had a bad dream. It had been years since she wanted to sleep with Sammy because of a bad dream, but the moves were reflexive now. Pick her up, cuddle her, rub her back, sing to her, and she was out like a light again. Suddenly Sam felt like himself again. He kissed Evy’s cheek and prepared to sleep, looking forward to finally having peaceful dreams.

“Good night, Cricket.”


End file.
